Who am I?
Who am I?
And, how do I find the answer when I don’t know?
A big question that enters the minds of most at some stage in life, usually when feeling lost, alone, or standing on the precipice of change, facing the great unknown, wondering what exists out there, what is coming and how your life will be?
For some people, the question is specific to a new role in life because there is a felt-change or shift in identity. This is typical in career development situations when rising to a new role in management or leadership, or when becoming a new parent. ‘Who am I now? Some will ask.
I find illumination to the question of identity arrives when answering these questions:
- Who am I?
- How am I?
- What am I?
- What do I do?
- What do I have?
What this exercise gives you is reflection space to define your identity, the roles you play in different relationships, your thoughts, feelings and emotions, your possessions, accolades and achievements, your behaviours, actions and dedications, your passions and life choices, and to then see what remains as the core essential self. Some people tell me what remains is a quality such as kindness, loving, a creative spirit or simply, light, because this is, essentially who they are.
When defining the self in a life role, the question ‘who am I now’ suggests that you are feeling that who you are, at your core self, has changed, because of what is changing around you; perhaps you are taking on new responsibilities for other people or a corporate entity, and perhaps because you have grown into a new role, you feel like you have become a different person? However, if you ask yourself the five questions listed above, I believe you will realise that this felt change falls into the categories, ‘What am i?’; a leader, a new parent, the beholder of a new title that may bring about new ways of being, and that your pure essential self’ who you are, remains the same.
For many people, a sense of self is firmly entwined with the role they play in life, but our roles are not who we are, they are how we choose to be. When we can boundary the true self from the roles we play, we can reclaim a core sense of self, which is at the root of healthy self-esteem.
How do we honour the truth of who we are in our present life situations?
Once re-connected with who you are, the next focus becomes about how to live your life in a way that honours your true authentic self. This may lead to thoughts about how your inner artist, musician, or dancer expresses themselves, or perhaps your honour your kindness while maintaining the healthy boundaries and other leadership qualities you choose to uphold?
The following questions will help bring clarity on this.
- Where in my life now am I honouring my true self?
- What about my true self is not being honoured today?
- Why am I not allowing this?
- What would need to change in my life today to feel that I am honouring my true self; being myself, giving my self-time and space to exist, to live, to grow and to thrive?
- What is in my power to change?
- What would honouring my truth more look like in my daily life?
- What would I like to try?
- How will I know I am honouring my true self; what will be the evidence?
If you would like to deep dive into this issue, get in touch now to schedule a complimentary discovery call to learn how we could work together to strengthen your authentic presence and honour your deeper truth.
