Just before you launch, do you ever experience a great procrastination?

Just before you Launch, do you ever experience a great procrastination?

You’ve been working on a project for a long time, the vision is clear, ambitious and exciting, you have aligned with your core values; you know what you want and why it matters to you, and right now all of the pieces that lay a strong foundation for your intending success have come together; you are ready to launch.

I don’t know about you, but for me this is when procrastination has a tendency to arise and spark my mind with a medley of creative ideas that could so easily distract me with convictions about why they offer the path to a greater light. But I have walked this path before and this time my greatest career vision is before me; the dream I birthed over twenty years ago, a dream to write and publish books that inspire and empower people to make life better for ourselves and each other, and I shall not falter.

As I stand before procrastination, in all of her beautiful guises, I invite you to join me and stand before your own procrastinations and, with all of the power of your love, blow a kiss to these excitable friends, thanking them for their inspiration and energy to craft and create, and to then kindly decline their offerings for you are already inspired, you know what you really want, and what you are ready to bring it to life, despite the tension twisting in your gut and a train of ‘what if’ worries sparking in your mind. And when procrastination comes at you with a crippling ailment, lethargy, a book full of excuses, or the manifestation of a brand new to do list with so many tick-box exercises that could gift you a chocolate box full momentary lifts, I invite you to take a pause, breathe deep, reconnect with your greater vision, your core values and the deep inner light within you that is building momentum, and waiting to burst open and shine your greatest story.

I can understand if you feel nervous, anxious or even afraid of this light. I feel it too. It reminds me of my earlier years when I was afraid to allow the depths of sadness and anger to be unleashed, fearful of the power of the dam I had upheld so well in the name of ‘strength’. But I faced that fear, I broke the dam, and when I did, I was flooded and overwhelmed by what became the most profound healing experience in my life; it taught me about the power of my love, it revealed my greatest strength, and it taught me that I could embrace the most intense feelings and emotions and fall into them and rise again every time; I learnt to surf my internal river, and in acquiring proficiency in these wild waters I birthed my authentic presence and I set myself free.

Now I face a new ocean, and a new and great unknown. Twenty years ago, I sat down to write a book with only one question in mind: ‘Who am I, why am I here and how do I make life better?’. This question sparked a truth-seeking quest and a journey of profound healing, growth and transformation that propelled me onto the path to love, which has become the essence of my meaningful purpose and my life’s work. The story is deeply personal, touching on some of my greatest vulnerabilities and shame stories, and yet, there is a light in me that continues to inspire me to publish because I believe within the pages of my stories, there are gifts for you.

It has been sitting on my shelf for some time because the voice of my inspired procrastination invited me to write another book: ‘Grow your love, grow your life-discover your power, purpose and possibility’ is a 430 -page coaching based workbook that offers you a framework for answering the question: ‘Who am I, why am I here and how do I make life better?’. I think I created a very useful, inspiring and enjoyable product, and so procrastination may have served me well, but it has also placed a greater dream on hold, in the name of comfort; it feels more comfortable to present myself as an expert in psychological well-being and learning how to love, more than standing on the stage, titles cast aside, and saying ‘This is me, this is my story, and I proudly offer it to you’.

I believe as experts we have a lot of value to offer others, but, when we open up to share our soul truth, when we show how we walked the path to where we are at, revealing the challenges and how we moved through them; when we remove the hat of our expertise and step onto the stage as our whole true self, we create an opportunity to connect with each other at a much deeper level.

As an expect, I can offer you my words of inspiration: ‘When saying ‘No’ is your truth, it is not negative, it is an act of love’, and you may gain some strength from more words. Or, I could remove my hat and appear as I am with my true story, and tell you a story about my battle to say ‘No’ to an internal demon, and what it took to grow the inner strength to bravely and boldly affirm that ‘No’ with all of my love, and how love learnt to win enough fights to one day find the power to win that war, and I believe sharing the story gives you so much more.

I hear the voices rising echoing tones of ‘not good enough’, with fears of rejection, judgement, the great unknown, and failure riding on its tails, and I stand before them, holding the love, and I say: ‘Rejection, ha, I laugh, so many people rejected me in the past, even I rejected me, and today I am in acceptance and I know the way to return to acceptance anytime’. ‘Judgment, ha, no one can judge me as harshly as I judged myself over the years and I know how to stand before judgment with a heart full of love’. ‘The great unknown, ha, in pursuit of truth and understanding about myself and my world, I travelled to the ends of the universe and back, I questioned the great divine, I communicated with the spirits and danced with freewill, fate and destiny in one moment the great unknown has been ventured greatly through my story, and it brought me to my peace; I know how to dance with the universe’. As for failure, I might well fail, but one thing I am certain of if this; If I do not dare to face failure in publishing my memoir, it will be the greatest failing of my life. Whatever comes next depends on how the river flows; it is time to give this story to life.